Birth Stories

 

Please email or mail any birth stories to us for new mothers to read and share. Thank you to those of you who have shared your intimate stories with all of us!

 

Ezra’s birth at home

By Sarah

My son was born on Monday January 18th at 9:11 pm.  For weeks, I had been telling this baby, I’m ready when you are.  I was afraid that I was going to go past my due date of January 20th.  I knew this baby was big, and my daughter, born 9 years earlier, had been over 9 pounds.  Therefore,  around 37 weeks gestation I started regularly talking to Ezra about coming soon.  Friday January 15th, while sitting in meditation after a yoga practice, he said to me, please be patient, I will come when I am ready, and my impatience subsided.  It may seem unbelievable that I got this clear message from Ezra, but it came as clear as if he were standing in front of me speaking. 

On Sunday January 17th I started bleeding and I knew he was on his way.  I was so excited!  We had done a lot of preparation and planning, and my partner, Owen, and I were ready to be parenting this kiddo instead of preparing for the job.  That day we had breakfast with my sister and skied all afternoon.  That night we went to bed and my contractions, which I had been having regularly at night for weeks, continued, but with a little more force.   Meanwhile, Ezra wiggled around in my belly anticipating his escape.

The next morning around ten, my contractions really started picking up and becoming regular.   At around eleven, my daughter, Zoe, started timing them and they were from two to four minutes apart.  We called Blue, our midwife, and gave her the update.  She asked how things were going and said she would be up in awhile.  Blue arrived around 2:30 pm.  She checked me and I was 3-4 centimeters and thinned out.  I remember her saying to me “I am here now and not leaving until this baby is born.” Her words gave me a sense of comfort and reassurance that this was it, the baby was coming today.  My first labor took days to get going, leaving me with the impression that this time it could also go that way. To manage the energy of labor I was walking in large circles and breathing deeply.  During my pregnancy we had practiced different positions to try while I was in labor, turns out all I wanted to do was walk in circles and breath.  Walking felt active, giving me the sense I was really working the baby down and breathing saved me from letting the energy of the contractions overcome me. 

Around four in the afternoon my water broke.  This is when things really got intense.  The contractions were very powerful and amniotic fluid would squirt out with each one, which meant that I was dripping and standing in a puddle.  The intensity of the contractions were almost too much, and then top this with my yucky fluid situation and I was not liking life too much.     Having sprung a leak also meant I couldn’t move around as easily because I had to stand on towels to soak up the fluid.   I stared making these high-pitched screams. I was having a hard time staying on top of things at this point. 

The thing about giving birth is you have to lose control enough to let go of your body and let your primal self take over, but stay in control of yourself enough not to let the energy of labor become overwhelming.  I could feel myself becoming overwhelmed and I was not going to go there because I knew once I lost it, we were in trouble.  Blue recommended lowering my noises and making grunting sounds to help work the baby out.  I would have done anything at this point to bring the energy down, so grunt I did.  Meanwhile, the birthing tub was filling downstairs.  Finally, the tub was full, so down the stairs I waddled. 

I had expected the tub to be immediate relief, and although it was nice to be able to squat and not have amniotic fluid all over me, it didn’t provide the relief I was counting on.  Blue checked my dilation while I hung to the side of the tub. I was fully dilated and should be feeling the urge to push any time.   The urge wasn’t coming, but boy were the contractions.  The energy of these contractions were intense.  I could barely hold it together.  Fortunately, I have a wonderful partner who patiently and lovingly sat there with me, breathing through each contraction, his eyes locked on mine giving me somewhere to focus and an anchor to some sanity.  For a while, my nine-year-old daughter, Zoe, joined me at the side of the tub supporting me with her loving smile, kind word and breath.  It took great courage and love on her part to be with me at this time because the labor was so intense and I can only imagine how agonized I looked, but she stuck with me. 

With each contraction, I would bob up and down in a kneeling position leaning on to the side of the tub, staring into Owen’s eyes, breathing, grunting and silently repeating my mantra.  I stayed in this position for so long, my legs fell asleep and I couldn’t feel my feet, I didn’t care.  I would imagine my pelvis made of mechanical parts and picture them being disassembled in order for the baby to slip out.  I would repeat in my head out, out, out.  Our house could have been on fire and I wouldn’t have known.  All I could do was be present to each contraction, then try to fully and totally relax between them.  This went on for a while and no urge to push came.  I would try to bear down, but it was too uncomfortable to sustain for a long time. 

Blue suggested it was time to get out of the tub and go to the bathroom.  It didn’t seem much progress was being made in the tub and if my bladder was full the baby might be stuck above it. So out I went and back up the stairs to our bedroom.  Everyone followed me up the stairs, Blue, Owen, my daughter, my mother in law, my sister and Blue’s birth assistants.  All these eyes watching me felt overwhelming.  I escaped to the bathroom and told Blue I needed alone time. I tried to pee, but nothing came and sitting on the toilet made the contractions twice as strong.  When I sat between the contractions, it brought them on strong and I needed that break, so sitting was out of the question.  I paced the bathroom for an hour.  Just when I thought, I couldn’t take it any longer the contraction would end and I would get a break.  It took all I had to keep my mind in the right spot.  I kept saying to myself you can do this, you might be at it quite a bit longer so stay strong and focused, do not complain, you are going to be fine.  I was also coming to the realization that the urge to push might not come.  This meant I would be forcing myself to push even though this intensified the contractions.  I tried this a few times, bearing down and grunting loudly while pacing the floor, ouch!

Around 8pm, I left the bathroom and made myself a nest on our bed with a heating pad under my back.  I was feeling exhausted and I wanted to rest and get off my feet.  Blue asked if she could check me again.  She said that a lip of my cervix wasn’t dilating because Ezra was coming down a bit crooked.  For the next hour, Blue sat with me while I rotated from side to side with one leg on her shoulder, flopping to the other side with every third contraction or so.  This helped open my pelvis and I could feel Ezra moving around and rearranging. 

Between a few of those contractions, I fell asleep, during them I opened my eyes looked straight ahead and tried to stay strong.  Then suddenly I let out a loud grunt, Ezra had done it, he was all lined up and ready to go.  Then- boom -he was in the birth canal, WOW! I told Blue, it hurts, she said, “like what?”, I said, “like I am having a baby.”  She looked down and sure enough, he was heading out.  When I let out that loud grunt, everyone came running up the stairs. 

The urge to push, which I had been waiting and waiting to come was finally here.  This urge was the strongest physical sensation I have ever experienced.  It was the most primitive and physical sensation.  My body said push, my head said something this big shouldn’t be coming out of something so small, don’t push.  I put my hand down and started holding Ezra back.  Then the urge would come again and I would have to push.  I closed my eyes and pushed, out popped his head.  I was screaming all the meanwhile, trying to gain control of myself, but I couldn’t, the physical sensation of pushing this life from my body took me over and I went a little crazy.  His head was out, but his shoulders were a bit tight.  Once the baby’s head is born, the body must come out within six minutes.  Time was of the essence.  Blue said roll to your side and she tried again to help his shoulders out, no luck.  Then she said, “Get on your hands and knees now!”  What, you want me to roll over, but I have a baby sticking out of me??!!  Somehow, I managed to roll over onto all fours, still screaming and hollering.  In this position, without the softness of the bed to contend with, Blue was able to get a hold of Ezra and between her pulling and me pushing, out he plopped.  At least that is how it felt, as if he fell out of me and plopped onto our bed and life had begun for Ezra.  Owen said he was so compact that he looked like a ball of skin.   

I rolled over and Blue put Ezra on my chest.  He was letting out little hollers.  I think the whole experience was just as overwhelming for him as it had been for me.  He was wide-awake and looking around.  Zoe was crying hysterically.  Both elated by the birth of her brother and scared by what she had just seen me go through.  In retrospect, I wish I had done a better job of preparing her for how intense the pushing phase can be.  When I had given birth to Zoe, it had taken me over an hour to push her out.  It took only six minutes to push Ezra out, taking me totally by surprise.  I believe that had I expected it to take such a short time, I wouldn’t have been so crazy, but it all happened so fast I couldn’t really integrate what was going on, I just had to succumb to it.  

We let Ezra’s cord pulse for quite awhile.   Meanwhile he rooted around on my chest ready to nurse.  We cut him free and he had his first meal.   He was absolutely perfect!  There is nothing that can compare to the moment a baby is born, so much anticipation and then such elation. 
I look back on my birth experience and I love it!  It was magical and perfect.  Having Ezra at home was absolutely the right choice for our family.  It made it so easy and very special.  Blue was amazing.  She had such confidence in my body’s ability to give birth that I never second-guessed I could do it.  Ezra’s transition into life on the outside and our transition to caring for him were both gentle and smooth.  I attribute this in part to Blue’s care and our gentle home birth.  After birthing naturally at home, I feel stronger as a person and more confident as a mother.  Everyday with Ezra is a gift.  It’s as if our family was missing a piece and now he has completed us.     

 

Back to Birth Stories Page

 

Here are some websites with more birth stories:

Water birth stories

Home birth stories